To all the Fathers out there.

Fathers, like mothers, are not born. Men grow into fathers and fathering is a very important stage in their development.                                                        – David Gottesman

There are many references regarding the existence of word “Father”, starting from Old English, Greek, Latin, Old Persian, Irish and Sanskrit. But the string comes to an end at “Pa”, which is most likely how a baby (regardless of nationality or race) utter the sound when addressing his/her father.

We celebrate International Father’s Day on the third Sunday of June. This year we have observed it on 20th day of the month. We have seen a lot of Father’s Day wishes flooding Whatsapp, Facebook, and other social media feeds starting as soon as midnight and continuing throughout the day. The admirable aspect of this day is everyone regardless of gender, religion, status, or caste, wishes his/her father, whether physically or in remembrance. All of these feeds took me to the time of me and my papa. PAPA…. a word which resounds my mind whenever I bethink my father. For today’s generation it’s dad, daddy, popa and what not, but all we have in common is the love and respect for him. However, I chose this topic for those who have recently become father or would be a one or lost one.

Let me get it clear, bringing a life to earth is as easy as a pie but science behind it is of statistics. You know what I mean to say, probability, permutation, combination and much. When we compare this giant universe to sperm cells, an egg gets only one cell out of 250 million sperms. The existence, weight, and shape of the specific live cell is then negligible, and to come into existence a slew of unlikely events had to unfold exactly as they did for thousands of years. And if everything goes right, voila a baby is born after required gestation period. But keep that in mind, you have passed on your characteristics from the day one and the baby will show your traits directly or indirectly which are embedded.

Here comes the roller-coaster part, “Parenting”. We as a human society believe that giving birth and raising a child is primarily a female affair. Say sisters, mothers, grandmothers, and mother-in-law’s are always present and ready to assist in any way possible. Thus, many a times Father is almost an afterthought. Let’s put a light on this aspect. To the young and want to be father this is for you. It is commonly held that when a child is born, parents are also born. I believe you will agree with me that the parents were born on the day they found out they were pregnant. Throughout the pregnancy, the mother is responsible for the baby inside the womb, but the father has responsibility of two precious lives (mother and child).

This sense of responsibility has changed demeanour of the guy from been living his life completely on own terms, a free young boy, a great lover, a fitness freak, a party boy to a more matured one with more emphasis on changed mindset, thought processing, actions and reactions. With these changes brings in another dimension to the behaviour which many lack, “sensitivity”. I am not saying that all males are insensitive, but many are. These all for that one thing, something that is on the horizon (HIS CHILD). What a shift…. A man becomes Father Now 😊

As we have discussed that DNA is in existence, Father inherits characteristics that he does not want to nor need to learn from anyone else but his father. This is the time he shows the deeply embedded traits of his father such as love, affection, child wishes, sacrifices, and many more. I am confident that those reading this, particularly fathers, can relate. These fathers are doing exactly what their fathers used to do somewhere around them.

Few testimonies:

In a crowd of thousands, I have seen my father stand out from the crowd. As a strict person, he always adheres to his principles, angry on the outside and soft on the inside. I recall riding with him from home to school and back again, my never-ending stupid and amusing questions, and his straightforward approach to everything. I’m not sure when did I grow up, but he didn’t change. It used to feel very nice when the phone rang with my brother’s name on it, well know that it was my father who is on the other end asking, “Son, will it be too late to come today?” Even now, when I’m not at home and the phone rings. Despite the fact that he hasn’t been with us since ten months, I still wait for his phone call every day and believe me, I will always long for his voice on my ears. ~ Sagar Gupta (Jamshedpur, Jharkhand)

On Diwali, the 7th of November 2018, I came to know that my wife was pregnant. I was scared, I’m not sure why, but I reacted horribly 😊. The following year, on June 27th, 2019, I received nothing but my own child SIYA as a birthday present. That thought in and of itself was very beautiful, that from now onwards my daughter and I will be celebrating our birthdays on the same day. Trust me holding her for the first time felt like I was holding the entire world in my hands. The fear of becoming a father gave way to an unknown sense of pride at that moment. ~ Gourav Prasad Sinha (Jamshedpur, Jharkhand)

Kaira and I share a very special bond. Most fathers feel that taking care of a child is a very delicate job and can only be done by mothers. No doubt mothers are the best. But to be the best father, you have to think and act like a mother. I learned how to change diapers, how to give proper massage, how to bathe Kaira, her skincare, her clothing, her hygiene and what not. Till to date I make sure to take care of Kaira the whole day whenever I have an off day from work. My wife says that babies can sense the scent of their mothers. I can proudly say that Kaira recognizes my scent. ~ Yatishwar Anand (Malajkhand, Madhya Pradesh)

Dear Papa, we never felt that you aren’t with us since the day we lost you, though we haven’t felt the same way since. Every day, we sense your presence in spirit. Daddy, we (three siblings) will always remember your statement that you have three children rather than three daughters. Infact you are the one who taught us that the girls and the boys are equal. We still remember your innumerable sacrifices, unwavering hard work, and extraordinary parenting in raising us to be fine and successful human being. You were our mentor and friend, and you always guided us toward our goals and encouraged us to try things that seemed difficult. You were the torchbearer, Papa. ~ Priyanka, Pratyancha, Prasangina